A Case of Mistaken Identity
by JIN-HayTeR
Summary: Sweeney Todd meets somebody who looks like Judge Turpin, but something isn't quite right. Chaos ensues as a bunch of familiar characters make their appearances as Sweeney Todd STILL tries to kill Judge Turpin. Now with a very suprising cameo appearance!
1. Looks, Acts, Therefore IS Turpin

Jin: I'm a Sweeney Todd fan and so I absolutely HAD to make a story. I was inspired by another fanfiction story, so thanks to IsabellaMarieCullen3214.

Disclaimer: Sweeney Todd and anything else does not belong to me in anyway. I'm just writing for my own amusement. Sorry if the characters out OOC.

A** Case of Mistaken Identity**

Looks Like Turpin, Acts like Turpin, Therefore its Turpin!

Sweeney Todd's foot tapped the lever on the ground, sending yet another unfortunate patron to the bake house below his shop. Another day, another victim, and yet NONE of the swine he killed were the Beadle or that accursed Judge Turpin. He was growing impatient. '_If that blasted Judge won't come, then I'll just go out and kill him while he sleeps._' Sweeney thought to himself. His doorbell chimed, signaling another soon-to-be victim, and swallowing his impatience, Sweeney turned around, smiled pleasantly, and said, "Welcome." The patron responded in a voice that sounded VERY familiar, "Mr. Todd?" Sweeney Todd got a good look at the man's face and he felt himself smiling a bit wider. Judge Turpin had FINALLY returned to his shop. But the barber noticed something different.

The man wore black robes, a black cloak, and his hair was greasy looking black. If he didn't have the Judge's face or his voice, Sweeney would've thought he WASN'T Turpin. The Turpin look-alike walked around a bit and said, "These premises are hardly prepossessing and yet The Beadle tells me you're the most accomplished of all the barbers in the city." Sweeney raised an eyebrow in slight confusion. The judge came here before and didn't he already say that? He kept that thought to himself and instead, Sweeney replied, "That is indeed, gracious of him, sir." While inside he thought, _'Perhaps he took a rather nasty spill and lost some memory_?' The Turpin look-alike took off his cloak and hung it on the coat rack as Sweeney asked, "And what may I do for you today, sir?" The Turpin look-alike replied, "A shave would be good." He sat in the chair and Sweeney Todd sharpened his razor, admiring his friend's shining beauty, and replied with a smile, "The closest you will ever get."

Down in the bakehouse, Mrs. Lovett finished separating the meat from the bones of the latest victim, and placing them in the grinder. She just barely started to turn the lever when the trapdoor leading to Sweeney Todd's barbershop opened and with a nasty _CRACK, _down came another unfortunate patron. "Oh bloody 'ell…" Mrs. Lovett sighed. Honestly, sometimes that man had no idea how cringe inducing it was when bodies come onto the ground like that. Pulling herself together, Mrs. Lovett walked over to see if this victim had anything on him. She gasped as she looked at the persons face. It was the Judge! He finally did it! Sweeney Todd had finally killed Judge Turpin! Now that he was gone, Mrs. Lovett thought that finally she would have all of Mr. Todd to herself. She began to rifle through his pockets and found a small bag containing weird looking coins, most of them gold, but they didn't look anything like the currency she had seen before. Also, in the man's right hand was a thin stick. Had he tried to fight Mr. Todd with a pitiful excuse of a stick? Shrugging, she looked closer at the stick and on the handle it said, "If discovered, please return to Severus Snape."

Three days later…

Sweeney Todd looked out his window with his ruby-dripping razor. It was done. He finally had gotten his revenge on Judge Turpin. His Lucy had finally been avenged and Johanna was freed from the judge. But… what to do now? Sweeney Todd had never really given much thought as to what he would do after he killed Turpin. As he looked out his window, his eyes went wide with horror as he saw what to HIM was the impossible. '_No…it, it can't be!! It's impossible!! I… I KILLED HIM!_ _HOW CAN THIS BE_?!' But it was. Walking down the street with his lackey Beadle Bamford at his side, was Judge Turpin, very much alive. The doorbell chimed and Mrs. Lovett came in and said, "Ah, Mr. T! I jus' wanted ta let ya know the man you done away wit' a few days ago might've been missed. About an 'our ago, two lads and a girl (guess who) came in looking for 'im, saying that 'e wos their teacher." Sweeney Todd didn't reply as Mrs. Lovett tried to remember his name, "Ah yes! Snape 'is name wos. Severus Snape!" At that, Sweeney Todd passed out. "Mr. T? Are you alright?" Mrs. Lovett asked as she poked his unconscious form with a stick

Jin: I'm going to have more chapters up, so don't worry. It's going to hopefully get funnier from here, even though I don't usually do humor stories.


	2. Accomplice to Murder or Murderer?

Jin: Here it is, another series of confusion among the characters. Now just WHO is an accomplice to murder and WHO is an actual murderer? Guess who gets confused with who.

**Accomplice to murder or just plain murderer?**

Some time later, Sweeney Todd was back on his feet, still wondering how in the hell he could have mistaken Judge Turpin for that other guy, Severus Snape. Somebody out there seemed to enjoy tormenting. It wasn't enough that Anthony ruined the very moment before he killed Turpin, now he was being sent look-alikes! As he finished shaving a patron who was fortunate enough to be missed by his family who was watching, his thoughts were turned to the three people that Mrs. Lovett told him about. Apparently they were students of the Severus Snape who he did away with, so now he had to be extra careful. But Sweeney wasn't too worried. After all, who would believe three teenagers?

The said three teens in a nearby inn were debating about what was going on. "I'm telling you, that lady WAS Bellatrix Lestrange! She had it all, pale skin, sunken eyes, weird hair, and everything!" "Ron, if that WAS Bellatrix, (which I doubt it is) then why didn't she try to kill us where we were standing?" "Oh can't you two just stop yelling? Its grating on my nerves." Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger were all trying to figure out if what they saw was what they thought they saw. Was the owner of the establishment where they last saw Snape really Bellatrix Lestrange? There was no denying it, the woman had the almost the EXACT same physical features as Bellatrix, and yet she didn't try to kill them the moment she set eyes on them as she had tried before. Ron was convinced the woman was Bellatrix, Hermione on the other hand was equally adamant that the woman was NOT Bellatrix. Harry was just irritated with them both. Harry wanted to go back and at least have a look around the pie shop, Ron wasn't too sure about that, while Hermione pointed out that they should check out the mysterious Mr. Sweeney Todd. "After all," Hermione continued. "The barber shop is where Snape was last seen. Therefore couldn't it be possible that maybe the barber was the one who had something to do with his disappearance?" Ron replied, "If he had something to do with it, its probably because he was jinxed." "Or maybe he was the one who did something to Snape!" said Hermione, now getting more irritated. Harry on the other hand said, "Well, Snape's gone, so how is that our problem?" Ron agreed, "Yeah, he hasn't been the greatest guy in the world, so why should we bother looking for him? Bloke would've been glad to be rid of us." Hermione reluctantly had to admit that Prof. Severus Snape wasn't exactly the nicest guy to them. Hermione still remembered the time that Snape had deducted points from their house simply for her being, "an insufferable know-it-all".

Some time later, the three finally agreed to go investigate the barbershop, to at least see if the barber had been bewitched by the Bellatrix-look-alike. They arrived on Fleet Street and at the corner across from, "Mrs. Lovett's Meat Pie Emporium" they watched and waited. Customers came in and out as though nothing were out of the ordinary. Occasionally they caught sight of a customer going up the stairs by the shop, and into the barbershop. Hermione had kept her full attention on the barbershop while Harry and Ron watched the Bellatrix look-alike and a young boy attend to their work. Once in a while, a beggar woman would amble by, screeching for people to beware, "The devil's wife" or "The witch". Then the Bellatrix look-alike would tell the young boy, "Toby, throw the old woman out!" and she'd be promptly sent away by the young boy. The third customer had gone into the barbershop when Hermione suddenly said, "You see? All those people are going into the barbershop, but not one of them have come back out!" The other two both directed their full attention to the barbershop, but suddenly, the third man who went into the shop, suddenly came out, whistling merrily. Harry and Ron both looked at her with curious expressions while Hermione said firmly, "I'm telling you, just watch! The next person who's going in there, will not be coming out!" Harry and Ron decided to just wait if anything to just see if Hermione was right. They waited and waited, but no more customers went into the barbershop. Ron's stomach growled and he said, "Those pies are starting to smell good…" Harry silently had to agree. He was also starting to get hungry and the smell of the pie shop was almost enchanting. But Hermione firmly said for them to not go anywhere near the shop, at least until they were safe enough to go poke around.

The pie shop was nearing closing time, and still no more customers went up to the barbershop. Sweeney was brooding as usual, as he did every day and every night. With a slow sigh, he looked down at Fleet Street. It was then that he spotted two boys and a girl. They all appeared to be in their teens and immediately, Sweeney suspected that they were the three that Mrs. Lovett had told him about. The girl had bushy brown hair and seemed to be looking straight at him with deep suspicion. The tallest out of them was a boy with red hair and freckles. He didn't pay too much attention, and instead paid more attention to the pie-shop. The person in between them had round glasses, deep green eyes, and jet-black hair. Sweeney narrowed his eyes and immediately turned away from the window. He began to wonder if they hadn't already gone to the law. If they did, he'd never get the chance to kill Judge Turpin or the Beadle. They had to be killed, but how to get them to come up so he could finish them off in quiet. Until then, he just had to act as though nothing was wrong, and he just needed to act as he normally did. Which was silent brooding. And so, gathering himself, he walked back to his window, and after glimpsing the trio still there, stared outside his window.

Mrs. Lovett cheerily waved away the last customer and closed her door, turning over the "Open" sign to "Closed". As she looked through the window of the door, she spotted the three who had asked her about the disappearance of their teacher. How long they had been there, Mrs. Lovett did not know, but she could see that they were up to something. But right now, she could afford to wait, and if things came to it, she could easily have Mr. Todd do something about it. Although it would be a pity, they'd have to go if they snooped where they shouldn't be snooping. So she turned back into her home behind the shop.

As soon as the woman went inside, Harry, Ron and Hermione saw their chance. They sneaked across to the patio outside the actual pie shop. The trio waited for a bit and then Hermione said, "Ok, here's what I think we should do, one of us should wait out here, while the other two peek in on the barbershop." "But what if the barber is still there? He hasn't even come out of there the entire time we saw him." Ron reminded Hermione. Harry agreed, "If he hasn't come out all day, then he probably won't come out all night either." A jingling noise was heard, and immediately the three ducked under a table. They heard the footsteps of the barber descending the stairs. They got a good look at him for the first time. He was fairly tall, a bit thin, deathly pale with gaunt sunken eyes, his hair was even wilder and untamed then Harry's, with a white streak slicing through his hair. The barber didn't even notice them there, and he walked into the pie shop without so much as a glance towards their direction. Harry, Ron, and Hermione waited, but nobody came out. Finally, Hermione and Harry went inside the barbershop, while Ron kept a lookout.

Harry and Hermione came out after a while, shaking their heads. Hermione muttered as they walked away from the pie shop, "I was sure that the barber had something to do with Snape's disappearance." Harry noticed something else, "Hey, where's Ron?" It was true; Ron was nowhere to be seen. " 'e's over there." came a familiar voice. Harry and Hermione twirled around and saw the Bellatrix look-alike standing next to Sweeney Todd, both glaring dangerously at the two. Sweeney said in dangerous voice, "Now good sirs, please teach these three despicable youths a lesson." Harry and Hermione turned around and saw Ron on the ground in the middle of the street, with several police officers beating him up with billy clubs (police batons). Harry ran to help Ron, followed closely by Hermione, and out of the shadows on his right, something hard and thin like a stick smacked him in the face, knocking him flat on his back. Hermione stopped as a short stocky man pressed the end of a cane very hard into Harry's forehead. Then the man sneered, "Now that wasn't very polite of you, disturbing the peace and quiet of these hardworking people." Harry spoke before he could stop himself, "Wormtail?! What are you doing here?" Hermione wasn't able to move, but she was sent sprawling by a shove from behind as the Peter Pettigrew-look-alike snarled, "You filthy little mongrol! How dare you call me such a condescending thing!?" He grabbed Harry by the scruff of his shirt, dragged him roughly to Ron, and another policeman grabbed Hermione and also placed her next to Harry. Sweeney smiled and said, "Thank you very much for this Beadle Bamford. Now dispense justice on these three if you please. And when you've finished, I'll give you that shave, I promised." Beadle Bamford grinned with his yellow crooked teeth and said, "Gladly, in fact I'll come right now." He followed Sweeney up the stairs and said to the other policemen, "Take them away, I will return on my own when I'm ready." A few seconds later, the police jumped on the three, giving them a beating that would make anybody grab their video camera, record it, and send it to the news media (if such things existed). And all the noise blocked out a scream of horror, given by a certain Beadle Bamford.

Later that night, Ron, Hermione, and Harry all sporting bruises and cuts (Hermione had been lucky enough to avoid getting beaten to the extent Harry and Ron were given), were shoved into a small jail cell. As they gathered themselves together to soothe their pains, somebody who was in the same cell as them asked, "So what are you three fine people doing in a hellhole like this?" The person was sitting in a corner and since it was so dark, they couldn't get a good look at him. Harry asked as he adjusted his broken glasses, "Who are you?" The person stood up, walked closer to them, and looked down at them with a crooked smile. Hermione said, "You look like that Barber, Sweeney Todd. Only dirtier, with dreadlocks, and you look like a pirate." lThe man sighed in annoyance and said irritably, "Little girl, I'm CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow." He grinned again and said as he spread his arms in a flourished manner, "Savvy?"

Jin: I hope this was amusing and sorry for taking so long in updating this chapter, I didn't mean for it to go on for so long…


	3. A Tale of 3 Jacks and more LookAlikes

Jin: I did this one out of curiosity

Jin: Here's the next chapter as the characters continue to get confused with who is who. Hope this one is also funny.

A Tale of Two Jacks and More Look-Alikes

Captain Jack Sparrow listened to their story with some interest, but wasn't paying any real attention to them. He was more concerned with luring a dog who had the keys to their cell over to them. However, despite him waving a bone at the dog, or whistling for him, the dog simply sat where it was and stared. Finally Ron asked, "How long have you been trying to get that dog over here?" Jack stopped whistling and waving the bone as he tried to remember. Finally he said, "I don't know, the last thing I remember was heading to a place called, "Florida" and I drank all the rum I had. The next thing I knew, I was in London of all places, and I got tossed in 'ere by some bloke who called himself, "Turpin." And it was after I "borrowed" some spare change from his cousin, only he looked younger, and scarier. Not to mention cheap, all I got was some shiny piece of paper from him…" Harry, Ron, and Hermione all knew that it was, "Snape." The very man who was called, "Judge Turpin", had sentenced them to their jail cell and he DID indeed look like a gray-haired, older version of Severus Snape.

Unfortunately while they were talking, Jack Sparrow had lost his attention on trying to get the dog to come over, and he just hung his arm out with the bone still in his hand. The dog took advantage of the moment and made its move. It set the keys down on the dirty floor, trotted over to the bone in the outstretched arm of Jack, and grabbed it in his mouth. With a flick of its tail, it happily walked back to where it sat not a moment ago. Jack Sparrow felt a slight tug on his hand and looked back at it. The hand was fine except for one thing… Jack Sparrow's eyes opened wide and he immediately flattened himself against the cell bars and spotted the dog happily chewing on the bone. The pirate sank down to his knees with a groan that sounded of bitter defeat and great annoyance. Hermione and Harry looked at Ron who sheepishly said, "Sorry about that mate…"

Mrs. Lovett wiped her sweating brow as she finished grinding the meat for the evening. Mr. Todd had silenced Beadle Bamford for good, and nobody had even bothered to look for him, question his disappearance, or anything. Apparently the good Beadle had quite a lot of enemies, despite his standing. Still, Mrs. Lovett had to decide whether or not to serve him to the unsuspecting customers, and in the end she decided, "The 'ell wit' 'im…" so she threw the corpse into the sewers and she watched a rat scurry over to the Beadle's corpse. It sniffed the corpse a bit before taking a bite. All of a sudden it seized up, and instantly fell over as it died. Mrs. Lovett thought, 'Well, I'm glad I didn't serve him up! I'd probably get arrested for poisoning people!'

Harry, Ron, and Hermione all watched Jack Sparrow as he walked around, muttering to himself. At times, when one of them would try to speak, the pirate would either ignore them, or say, "Shush! It's impolite to interrupt a conversation!" The three confused teens didn't seem to realize how rude it was to interrupt conversations, especially with two other Jack's in the cell! One of them was very small, basically a tiny Jack Sparrow, and he hung onto the real Captain Jack Sparrows dreadlocks. The other was a full sized Jack Sparrow; only he didn't have the same coat and gear as the real Jack. Jack Sparrow 1 hung onto the real Jack's thick dreadlocks and said, "Oi, Jackie, why not use that fancy leverage you leaned from good old William before! Back when we were on The Flying Dutchmen? We'll be out and about in no time at all" Jack Sparrow 2 tapped the real Jack on the shoulder, picked up a peanut that fell out of the dreadlocks, and said as he tossed it away, "Well the little bit of straw on the ground certainly won't be of any use, savvy? Unless you have glue, lots of time on your hands, and a miracle (unlikely) you, me, Jack on your shoulder there, and those three will be hung." Jack Sparrow muttered, "Well that's not very helpful at all." Hermione was getting impatient with the man and said irritably, "Look, Mr. Sparrow, we don't have a lot of time, so stop talking to yourself and help us make a plan!" All three Jack's turned their heads to her and said sharply, "Oi, stop interrupting me alright?! I'll think of something!" Hermione wasn't ready to give up, "Well if you have a plan, then please share it!" The pirate opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He just stood there with his mouth slightly open and eyes staring at them. The pirate raised his hands in a strange way signaling he was going to do something and Harry urged, "Yes! You have an idea?" Jack's eyes siddenly darted to the little window showing the streets of London and Jack's 1 and 2 said with delighted smiles, "Ooh, a peanut!" The pirate smiled in delight too, walked over to the window, and reached out for it with determination, completely ignoring the three youths in his cell. Hermione had to be held back by Ron and Harry to prevent her from being busted for murder.

Suddenly a loud crunching sound was heard and a yelp of pain came from Jack. A woman's voice was heard, "Oh I'm so sorry! Are you alright, sir?" Jack Sparrow brought back his crushed hand and shook it to relieve the pain. The woman knelt down on her knees and earned gasps from Harry, Ron, and Hermione. The woman looked almost exactly like Bellatrix Lestrange and the Bellatrix-look-alike pie shop owner. But there was something off. The woman did have pale skin, slightly gaunt eyes, and messy hair. But otherwise, she looked perfectly normal, like the other poor people that the trio had seen around. And her eyes held a soft motherly warmth in them, not like the homicidal maniacal gaze that Bellatrix Lestrange had. She spoke again, "Have they locked you up here on false charges too?" Jack was nursing his hand and he said with a crooked smile, "Yes, and these three youths are in my care, but that corrupt Beadle and Judge sentenced us in 'ere because we looked at them funny. So could you possibly try to get us out of this place?"

Harry, Ron, and Hermione stared at Jack, but before they could speak, the woman kindly said, "It's alright, you don't have to fib. I know that the Beadle and Judge are a nasty sort, but I can't help you… I don't know any way to get you out." It was strange, seeing a Bellatrix-look-alike speaking and acting so…motherly. Jack quickly pulled out a shiny gold piece of paper and showed it to the woman, "Will this change your mind? It's shiny and gold!" Harry said, "Captain Sparrow, I don't think that that will help us out of here." Ron whispered, "Hang on Harry, look!" The woman placed her hand over her mouth and her eyes went wide as she gazed at the paper. She whispered, "That's a golden ticket to Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory!" The woman looked tortured, but Jack looked confused for a moment, but the woman didn't notice. Jack composed himself and said smoothly, "I didn't get your name ms…" "Bucket…you can call me Mrs. Bucket." Jack continued, "Right, Mrs. Bucket. You get me, (and my wards out I suppose) out, and I'll give you this fancy ticket. You have any children who like chocolate?" The woman nodded as she continued to debate what to do. "Well, I'm sure you can make your child the happiest person in the world with this, and isn't that the greatest treasure of all? Being a mother who can make their child happy?" That was the straw that broke the camel's back. The woman sighed and said softly, "Good Lord, forgive me…" She quickly scurried off with her hands covering her face and Jack's face fell. Jack 2 patted his shoulder and said, "Well, you tried, right?" Jack 1 shook the dreadlock he was holding and said, "Oi, look!" he pointed to the cell doors and there she was. Mrs. Bucket was standing next to a mean-looking guard and the man grunted, "You want them?" The woman nodded and the guard unlocked the doors. They were free!

"Not without me effects!"

Meanwhile, Sweeney Todd was reminiscing for the tenth time that day about how he was going to kill Judge Turpin in slow painful ways when he heard rapid footsteps coming up the stairs. The barber quickly got up and reached for his razor, but it was only Mrs. Lovett. She had obviously run quite a distance, and was panting pretty hard. Her cheeks had turned rosy red, a startling feature on her pale skin, and Sweeney Todd guided her to his barber chair. She tried to speak between breaths but Sweeney stopped her and said, "Slow down Nellie. Catch your breath." The baker nodded, and wiped her sweat off as she said, "Oh Mr. T! You've got your work cut out for ya' now!" She calmed herself down as she showed him a small poster she had picked up, "Now Open! Edward Scissorhands Hair Salon Emporium. The best with the blade, a true genius of hairstyling!" The letters were written in fancy cursive letters and it showed a picture. The person was fairly young, had scars all over his face, a timid shy look, and his hair was even messier then Sweeney's. He wore what appeared to be black leather and his hands were indeed true to his name, for they were big scissors! But the strangest thing of all, was that he looked VERY similar to Sweeney Todd.

Mrs. Lovett smirked and said a bit slyly, "Y'know, we COULD go pop by and see what the lad's all about." Sweeney Todd rolled his eyes and said, "Save your penny Mrs. Lovett, you already got your hair done by me." Mrs. Lovett gawked at him and said incredulously, "You nearly cut me throat and 'ead off! And that wasn't the beginning of it! You put that lather stuff in me 'air and-" Sweeney Todd knew what was coming. She would go off and he'd have no way of escaping it, other then killing her and/or himself. But that wasn't going to happen today, and so he decided to stop it before it began, "Fine, we'll go by, I'll kill him and we'll be on with our lives." "After we get our hair done." Mrs. Lovett said. Sweeney sighed in annoyance, "After we get our hair done…. Hold on! What's this about we?! I never said I-" But Mrs. Lovett interrupted him with a smile and said quickly, "Thanks Mr. T for agreeing wit' me!" She quickly leaned in and gave him a sweet peck on the cheek, before dashing out of the barbershop, and leaving a stunned Sweeney in her wake. The slightest red graced his pale cheeks, and he placed a quivering hand where she kissed him. He smiled a tiny smile, and went back to thinking of painful ways for the Judge to die.

Jin: "Women: She is fickle." As the philosopher Confucius once said. And Sweeney probably agrees with me on this one. I hope you realize who gets confused with who, and I hope this was funny.


	4. A New Man In Town

Jin: Here it is, another series of confusion, now featuring somebody who you probably would've never guessed

Jin: Here it is, another series of confusion, now featuring somebody who you probably would've never guessed.

A New Man in Town

Jack Sparrow stepped out of the jail with a deep breath of fresh air (for the time anyway) and said, "Ah, it's good to be free again!" Hermione was not as happy as Jack was however and she said very disapprovingly, "Jack, how could you do that to Mrs. Bucket? You used a mother's affection for her child with a stupid shiny piece of paper and you looked happy with yourself! Aren't you ashamed?!" Jack wasn't offended in the slightest and said with a smug grin, "Didn't seem too unimportant to Mrs. Bucket now did it? And I got you out of that hellhole, so you should be thanking me young miss. Or would you have rather waited for years to get out of there, if not hanged? Now if it pleases you all, I've some affairs to attend to." Jack strode off, but he hadn't made it more then ten paces when a loud angry voice roared, "THERE YOU ARE SPARROW!!"

A gang of pirates began rushing out of a tavern and at there lead was a fierce looking man. He was about as tall as Jack was, but he was dressed differently; in blue, he had a wide brimmed hat over his greasy orange hair, and a monkey wearing a filthy wool shirt sat on his shoulder. Jack smiled a bit worriedly and said as though he was talking to an old friend, "Ah, Barbossa! I see you've finally returned to your sense and decided to give me my ship back!" Barbossa smiled back and said in a voice that was by no means friendly, "It's been too long Jack, seeing as how ya got somethin' that belongs tah me." Jack paused before saying, "No I don't! I'm just passing through, enjoying the lovely…Victorian architecture." He tried to side-step Barbossa and when that didn't work, he started to circle him. Barbossa merely mirrored his movements but allowed him to get by. Finally when Jack got around him and turned to face the other pirates, he was facing a lot of flintlock pistols being cocked and pointed at his direction. Even the monkey aimed a miniature flintlock at him. Jack looked around with an attempted grin, but said nervously, and more then a little scared, "Parley…?"

Harry, Ron, and Hermione all watched silently, wondering whether or not they should help the pirate. Ron looked at Hermione, Hermione looked at Harry, and Harry looked back at them. Finally, when nobody seemed to want to speak they all said at the same time, "Let's help him this once."

Elsewhere, Sweeney Todd set his razors into his holsters like how a western gunslinger would holster his weapons, and put on his leather coat. He let out a little annoyed sigh at what happened yesterday. Not only had Mrs. Lovett landed a short kiss on him (although he did find it a little pleasant) but also she had convinced him to actually GO get his hair done! Sweeney Todd had to wonder about this, Edward Scissorhands. He looked quite similar to him, no, to Benjamin Barker. He had that naïve, unassuming, young face, like how Benjamin's was. Sweeney Todd indeed had moments where he wished that he were Benjamin Barker again; if he could only have things back to the way they were before, minus the Judge and his Beadle bitch. "Mr. T, are you ready?" came Mrs. Lovett's voice. Sweeney muttered, "Why did this have to happen to me?" He walked outside and saw Mrs. Lovett with Toby, her assistant at work. Mrs. Lovett looked at his face and could tell he wasn't happy with this, so she said, "It seemed such a shame to leave poor Toby 'ere all by 'imself." The barber merely nodded and they strode off towards the hair salon. As the crossed through the cobblestone street, a coach pulled by two black horses came very fast towards them. Toby was right in front of the horses and when he saw the speed and size of the horse he was rooted to the spot where he stood. The coachman didn't even bother to slow his horses down. Just as the horses were about to trample the boy, Sweeney Todd yanked him back by his shirt, narrowly avoiding a collision. "Idiot boy, look both ways before you cross the street." Sweeney coldly said to Toby. Mrs. Lovett however collected him in her arms to soothe the boy who was unsure whether or not he'd have rather been crushed or saved by Mr. Todd.

Meanwhile, the man in the coach was completely unaware of the events that had just occurred. He was going through a big black bag filled with all sorts of strange-looking objects that would appear to have scientific uses. Finally, he found what he wanted, but it was a circle paper with a cage on one side, and a cardinal on the other. On two sides, holes with strings in them allowed him to twirl the pictures so they would appear as though they were one picture. The coachman was a terrible driver, going over all kinds of bumps and rickety parts of an already horrible road. When it finally stopped, the man was quite unsure whether or not it was because they arrived at his destination, or because he was getting pulled over for some violation of the law. Fortunately for the man, he had indeed arrived at his destination; the police station for the district he was in. He put away his little toy, grabbed his bag, and stepped outside. The man was fairly thin, he had short wavy black hair, and his skin was quite pale from lack of sunlight. He wore all black, including a long black coat that nearly reached the ground, and the only other color was a small white clasp near his throat.

What appeared to be a Judge was waiting for him. He extended his hand and said, "Good afternoon sir, I'm Constable Ichabod Crane from New York. The Judge merely stared at him with a very piercing look, and one of great dislike. The Judge repented however and smiled a bit, "I am Judge Turpin of this district and I'm fortunate that America has decided to help me with this situation of mine." Ichabod noticed the look of dislike but didn't say anything and he said a bit nervously, "Well, this situation does call for a different approach I should say." Suddenly, another constable came running up to Judge Turpin with a shiny thin sheet. The man said, "We were successful in obtaining this my lord and the event should start in a few hours. The only other people with tickets are a young boy named Charlie Bucket and some foreigner by the name of Borat Sagdiyev." He showed him a picture of a strangely dressed man in a gray suit with matching pants, a thick bushy mustache, hair that stood up weirdly, and he was smiling with his thumbs up, as though he had posed for the artist who drew him. The constable continued, "We also think he might be related to a man named Adolfo Pirelli, a local barber who's been missing for some time now. He showed Ichabod the picture of the other man and after a moments pause, he said, "They do somewhat appear similar…" The Judge spoke to him but in a less then friendly tone, "I must attend a certain event that I must not miss good sir, but I hope you do find your stay... worthwhile." With that, he walked away and as he did, he was VERY much reminded of a certain Benjamin Barker.

Jin: Sacha Baron Cohen, the actor who played Adolfo Pirelli is also well known as, Borat! And I simply could not resist the idea of having him as a cameo (or maybe something more depending on your reviews) in this story. And if you're confused, then ask and you shall receive answers.

thumbs up Nice!


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